Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos

Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos is definitely in the chick lit category. You can buy Belong to Me here on Amazon. Looking for a good chick lit book to read on your early vacation, buy this one. While most of us can relate to parts of this book not eveyone has a college degree or an impossibly handsome husband (OK I think mine is handsome but don't tell him!!) but the actual story could be anyone anywhere. Marisa de los Santos has written a prelude to this book, Love Walked In, and she has a phd and writes poetry, it shows. The book is very well written, at least for me I thought I knew what was going to happen and then no it didn't make sense and then it did. New love and hope springing from tragedies and people remaking their lives are always worthwhile reading.
Overall I give this book a 9 out of 10.

Outliers By Malcolm Gladwell Part II

Ok, to be fair this isn't really part II but just another thought on the book, it's that good, needs more than one post.
Once again the link to buy the book Outliers is here@ amazon.com and the link to Mr. Gladwell's web site is here.

These two thoughts or theories on what childhood influences form successful adults from the book may be just givens for some parents. To others they may be like saying letting your children eat blue lizards will make their lives complete. I wish the book had came out and been required reading sometime before I was born. Forgive the paraphrasing and simplification of the ideas.

1. Support your child's interests and not only allow him time and materials to pursue the interests but actively encourage them. We all know about the soccer mom stereotype etc. but what if little Tommy would rather be rock climbing or be a watercolor artist? Soccer just won't cut it. My parents grade on this? My dad belonged to the archaeological society and I can tell you easy ways to distinguish a male skeleton from a female skeleton. My mother took me to the bookmobile. Other than that I was pretty well on my own, not uncommon in those days but I did feel neglected, what I would have given for a real library trip, good paints or a trip to a bookstore. I did better with my children, taught 4-H, learned cake decorating and taught my kids, they played sports because they wanted to, acted in plays, etc. How is the next generation doing? My daughter encourages every interest the children have and devotes her life to them plain and simple, sports, lessons, trips you name it. Are they spoiled (we are talking my grandchildren here remember?) OF course they are gloriously beautifully spoiled, are they obnoxious? Only when they act like grandma. They know they have it good and appreciate it.

2. Encourage your children to question new ideas or things they don't agree with and encourage them to discuss things with adults. I know every parent has uttered the words "because I SAID SO, that's why" but that isn't a good reason. IF your child has a thought as to why something should not be done a certain way listen to them @ least and give some weight to their thoughts. Encourage them to interact with other SAFE adults and make requests of them. Children who are taught to be seen and not heard all the time grow up to be invisible adults and even if they have brilliant earthshaking thoughts no one may ever know. Our families grades on this? About the same as previously although I'm not so sure the differences are so pronounced down through the generations. I did grow up talking to grown ups, my kids did too, the grandkids have no trouble doing so. The difference is in the children's effects on parental decisions, I had no effect, my children some, their children some. Why is this invaluable? About the age of 16 or 18 or 21 you won't be there to speak up for your children and they will need to and to adults who may not have their best interests @ heart or be merely distracted. In any case your child needs to know how to stand up and be counted with his/her Doctor, with teachers, cops, counsellors, sales people, landlords........ The more positive interactions they have had with adults the more finely honed their communication skills will be. The difference between two of the most intelligent men (IQ wise) in America is... one was brought up to question authority, he's a rocket scientist. The other was brought up to bow and scrape and get by as best as he can, he worked as a bouncer in a bar most of his life, didn't finish college because he didn't have the communication skills and basic life skills to make it all work.

Alas my life skills tell me it's time to go to bed so more on this outstanding book later.

Outliers By Malcolm Gladwell

GOOD GOOD GOOD GREAT!!!!

Does that tell you anything? I may have to write more than one post about this book, it deserves more.

I admit I'm a compulsive reader, I started this book yesterday, read it @ work during lunch and then settled down last night and finished it. I may reread it soon. I've read Blink by Mr Gladwell but not The Tipping Point, if you read Blink, Outliers is much easier to read in my opinion and just a better book although Blink was outstanding in it's premise.

This book should be required reading for parents and teachers to say the least, sociologists will already have read it or should have, grandparents and anyone connected with children or humans (I presume that's all who are reading this?) for that matter should read this book. Some of the reviews say that Mr. Gladwell should have gone into more detail about the methods used for the theories presented, in my opinion that would have made the book duller and more tedious although I love those sort of things not everyone does. Perhaps Mr. Gladwell should do his next book on methods of statistical research which is just a fun fun subject. I'm being facetious here, OK?

The link to buy this book is here and Mr. Gladwells web page is here which is good reading in itself.

I think I will write more later, let me just say the book gave me insight into WHY Asian students surpass American students in math so often. To put the answer simply in a sentence or two asian words for numbers are shorter and more logical, when putting a numerical problem into words in your head the answer is practically a given, also humans can only remember for a certain time frame and if the name is shorter you can squeeze more numbers (names) into your memory? Make sense? NO??? That's why Mr. Gladwell devotes more than a sentence or two to it. Also centuries of labor and brain intensive rice farming in the Asian countries and success in farming being the difference between prospering and starving have helped cultivate a race of successfull natural mathematicians. Read the book, you will see why!

Outliers also gave me insight into why my own German and French heritage perhaps makes me want to nap when it's cold or rainy. It's not terribly cold but it's my day off and it's still early early spring here, snowed a couple days ago ie it's NAP TIME. Seems that the vast majority of Germans and French farmers (serfs and yes we all probably have a peasant or two in our heritage if our forefathers came from Europe) basically hibernated during the long European winters. They were VERY active during the late spring, summer, and fall but it was cheaper to just rest and wait for spring in the winter, they didn't consume so much food etc.

In my next post I'll give you more on the book Outliers and why it's so important a read. On a parting note my husband and I used to go to California quite a bit, he had trucks and drove one, of course we delivered in Los Angeles and life is quite different there than rural Missouri. There are still people here who haven't been out of the state or if they have it's just been to neighboring states, the cultural differences in the 90s were still huge between CA and MO. One observation I made was in Missouri if you get shot you probably knew the person who did it and why they were shooting @ you, in California that wasn't the case. In the chapter about the Southern code of honor and feuds Mr. Gladwell explains why this heritage of honor and revenge is so prevelent in the South compared to the rest of the country. What amazed me is I could recognize the cultural impact on my state even though my family didn't come to America till the late 1800s (and wasn't of English or Irish blood whose cultural heritage allowed the code of honor to fourish in the hills) the culture remained and flavored daily life.