Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos

Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos is definitely in the chick lit category. You can buy Belong to Me here on Amazon. Looking for a good chick lit book to read on your early vacation, buy this one. While most of us can relate to parts of this book not eveyone has a college degree or an impossibly handsome husband (OK I think mine is handsome but don't tell him!!) but the actual story could be anyone anywhere. Marisa de los Santos has written a prelude to this book, Love Walked In, and she has a phd and writes poetry, it shows. The book is very well written, at least for me I thought I knew what was going to happen and then no it didn't make sense and then it did. New love and hope springing from tragedies and people remaking their lives are always worthwhile reading.
Overall I give this book a 9 out of 10.

Outliers By Malcolm Gladwell Part II

Ok, to be fair this isn't really part II but just another thought on the book, it's that good, needs more than one post.
Once again the link to buy the book Outliers is here@ amazon.com and the link to Mr. Gladwell's web site is here.

These two thoughts or theories on what childhood influences form successful adults from the book may be just givens for some parents. To others they may be like saying letting your children eat blue lizards will make their lives complete. I wish the book had came out and been required reading sometime before I was born. Forgive the paraphrasing and simplification of the ideas.

1. Support your child's interests and not only allow him time and materials to pursue the interests but actively encourage them. We all know about the soccer mom stereotype etc. but what if little Tommy would rather be rock climbing or be a watercolor artist? Soccer just won't cut it. My parents grade on this? My dad belonged to the archaeological society and I can tell you easy ways to distinguish a male skeleton from a female skeleton. My mother took me to the bookmobile. Other than that I was pretty well on my own, not uncommon in those days but I did feel neglected, what I would have given for a real library trip, good paints or a trip to a bookstore. I did better with my children, taught 4-H, learned cake decorating and taught my kids, they played sports because they wanted to, acted in plays, etc. How is the next generation doing? My daughter encourages every interest the children have and devotes her life to them plain and simple, sports, lessons, trips you name it. Are they spoiled (we are talking my grandchildren here remember?) OF course they are gloriously beautifully spoiled, are they obnoxious? Only when they act like grandma. They know they have it good and appreciate it.

2. Encourage your children to question new ideas or things they don't agree with and encourage them to discuss things with adults. I know every parent has uttered the words "because I SAID SO, that's why" but that isn't a good reason. IF your child has a thought as to why something should not be done a certain way listen to them @ least and give some weight to their thoughts. Encourage them to interact with other SAFE adults and make requests of them. Children who are taught to be seen and not heard all the time grow up to be invisible adults and even if they have brilliant earthshaking thoughts no one may ever know. Our families grades on this? About the same as previously although I'm not so sure the differences are so pronounced down through the generations. I did grow up talking to grown ups, my kids did too, the grandkids have no trouble doing so. The difference is in the children's effects on parental decisions, I had no effect, my children some, their children some. Why is this invaluable? About the age of 16 or 18 or 21 you won't be there to speak up for your children and they will need to and to adults who may not have their best interests @ heart or be merely distracted. In any case your child needs to know how to stand up and be counted with his/her Doctor, with teachers, cops, counsellors, sales people, landlords........ The more positive interactions they have had with adults the more finely honed their communication skills will be. The difference between two of the most intelligent men (IQ wise) in America is... one was brought up to question authority, he's a rocket scientist. The other was brought up to bow and scrape and get by as best as he can, he worked as a bouncer in a bar most of his life, didn't finish college because he didn't have the communication skills and basic life skills to make it all work.

Alas my life skills tell me it's time to go to bed so more on this outstanding book later.

Outliers By Malcolm Gladwell

GOOD GOOD GOOD GREAT!!!!

Does that tell you anything? I may have to write more than one post about this book, it deserves more.

I admit I'm a compulsive reader, I started this book yesterday, read it @ work during lunch and then settled down last night and finished it. I may reread it soon. I've read Blink by Mr Gladwell but not The Tipping Point, if you read Blink, Outliers is much easier to read in my opinion and just a better book although Blink was outstanding in it's premise.

This book should be required reading for parents and teachers to say the least, sociologists will already have read it or should have, grandparents and anyone connected with children or humans (I presume that's all who are reading this?) for that matter should read this book. Some of the reviews say that Mr. Gladwell should have gone into more detail about the methods used for the theories presented, in my opinion that would have made the book duller and more tedious although I love those sort of things not everyone does. Perhaps Mr. Gladwell should do his next book on methods of statistical research which is just a fun fun subject. I'm being facetious here, OK?

The link to buy this book is here and Mr. Gladwells web page is here which is good reading in itself.

I think I will write more later, let me just say the book gave me insight into WHY Asian students surpass American students in math so often. To put the answer simply in a sentence or two asian words for numbers are shorter and more logical, when putting a numerical problem into words in your head the answer is practically a given, also humans can only remember for a certain time frame and if the name is shorter you can squeeze more numbers (names) into your memory? Make sense? NO??? That's why Mr. Gladwell devotes more than a sentence or two to it. Also centuries of labor and brain intensive rice farming in the Asian countries and success in farming being the difference between prospering and starving have helped cultivate a race of successfull natural mathematicians. Read the book, you will see why!

Outliers also gave me insight into why my own German and French heritage perhaps makes me want to nap when it's cold or rainy. It's not terribly cold but it's my day off and it's still early early spring here, snowed a couple days ago ie it's NAP TIME. Seems that the vast majority of Germans and French farmers (serfs and yes we all probably have a peasant or two in our heritage if our forefathers came from Europe) basically hibernated during the long European winters. They were VERY active during the late spring, summer, and fall but it was cheaper to just rest and wait for spring in the winter, they didn't consume so much food etc.

In my next post I'll give you more on the book Outliers and why it's so important a read. On a parting note my husband and I used to go to California quite a bit, he had trucks and drove one, of course we delivered in Los Angeles and life is quite different there than rural Missouri. There are still people here who haven't been out of the state or if they have it's just been to neighboring states, the cultural differences in the 90s were still huge between CA and MO. One observation I made was in Missouri if you get shot you probably knew the person who did it and why they were shooting @ you, in California that wasn't the case. In the chapter about the Southern code of honor and feuds Mr. Gladwell explains why this heritage of honor and revenge is so prevelent in the South compared to the rest of the country. What amazed me is I could recognize the cultural impact on my state even though my family didn't come to America till the late 1800s (and wasn't of English or Irish blood whose cultural heritage allowed the code of honor to fourish in the hills) the culture remained and flavored daily life.

Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

I loved it, it's been a month or so since I read it, I'm honest don't put on, but it's a great little read. Like most reviewers I say it's main drawback is it's too short. If you find the holidays somewhat ludicrous anyway this is the book for you. From Mr. Sedaris's stint as an Elf @ Macy's to the story entitled Six To Eight Black Men, this holiday satire is sure to entertain and amuse and that's what we ask of a book isn't it?
176 pages of pure fun, Holidays on Ice is available @ Amazon.com, clicky clicky, ok I need sleep, it's my Friday. I got my copy from my local library which is a great place, despite us having like a very small county population, remember support your local library AND your local bookstore!
BTW I haven't quit reading, just started working more hours, so am reading less and what's more have MUCH less time to write. I'll try to be a little more faithful, you haven't gotten even part of my puny unmeaningful thoughts on books I am simply panting to share with you.
OK, I'll go sleep.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan

Ok, it's long, 600 pages I think. It's got strange names in it. But it's mesmerizing. It follows an Indian woman for 70 years, first as a young girl briefly, then married and bearing children to a strange Brahmin man, well he disappears with naked men with long hair into the forest and casts horoscopes, other than that he's perfectly normal. They have two children who seem to almost be good and evil, the plump golden daughter whom everyone is drawn to and the scrawny slightly misshapen son who seems to repel most. The husband dies soon after as he had predicted but had hired a servant who is of a lower caste whom you soon have deep sympathy and admiration for despite his peculiarities. The tale soon has you in it's spell from this point forward. I thought oh boy a story about a widow, just what I wanted to read about. Then it turns out she can't touch anyone during the daylight hours because of some caste rule, by this time I was glad she wasn't being burned alongside her husband. She continues on and while upholding archaic harmful caste rules she manages to do good in the world and not only raise her own children but her grandchildren also.
It's a long book, if you don't like to read it's probably not for you, you're not finishing it in one sitting. But I do know so much more about India and it's culture from this book than I did before and I ENJOYED learning it. A great read, it kept me interested up to the end without much sex or intrigue other than basic family happenings albeit they were in India and tied up with caste and exotic foods and musical instruments it's a tale that is set from the late 1800s to the mid 1900s but is timeless in it's entertainment and enlightenment value.
Amazon link here.

Alexandra Penney Among Madoff Victims

CNN Link here to story.

She wrote "How to Make Love to a Man", I must confess I haven't read it, not that I wouldn't I just haven't, thought it sort of came natural? Anyway that said she was editor of Self Magazine too, evidently she thought up the pink ribbon for breast cancer with a friend.

Not that I've ever been rich but the woman was slammed in a blog called "The Bag Lady Papers" on the dailybeast.com, ( she wrote how she might have to sell a cottage and had ridden the subway etc, link here) The readers who blasted her called her a privileged princess. The woman did earn her money and lost it. I know the feeling, I've gone from hosting dinners for 12 people @ decent restaurants to having to sell things in a matter of months after that, coming out on top again and being worried about making payments a few months after buying my first designer purse. That is the one and only designer purse I own and I'm still carrying thank you very much. People do seem to be nicer @ least to your face when you are poor, when you get a little sucess people tend to talk badly about you, but if you fall from being sucessful from bad planning or circumstances people tend to jump like a bunch of vultures. I could have told Ms Penny this. I do feel for her though especially since I am now employed @ Wal Mart! The same Wal Mart where I used to go drop $300 @ a time for groceries and truck supplies and whatever else struck my fancy, sometimes more than once a week, chicken feed to some but exhorbitant in the midwest in 2004. Now I don't make that much in a week. Does this bother me, not really, I'm less stressed, or was till I started working the clearance dept which is a new experiment in our Wal Mart. I'm making MUCH less than I was charging for hourly free lance work a few years ago and less than I was charging for writing web pages but if I can make grocery money or my car payment now @ least I'm helping my husband not die early of trying too hard to keep our heads above water. I hope Ms Penny realizes it's all OK and I do admire her for writing about it, wish I had invested in jewels though instead of computers and books or do I? Computers and books are mighty comforting.

P. D. James The Private Patient

I read this book around new years and it was the best part of my new years, other than my husband was home and we had the day off! Yes I did sleep most of the day, no I didn't have a hangover but we did get in in the wee hours of the morning. My husband doesn't drink and I had to drive my car home, spent it with two of the kids and the oldest granddaughter in a typical Missouri fashion, in the shop, everyone has them that has a farm or a business, big tin building with a wood stove, handy for parties since most of them have plumbing now! Husband played cards with a bunch of guys, I'm not sure he knew when I came to the party? I hate pitch, did I tell you that? Back to the book.
It's a typical English whodunit but with twists, some of them modern, some of them hundreds of years old, a witch burning was one and a girl who had killed her sister but seemed to be completely without remorse. I can't recall if I had read any of P. D. James other books but I probably have. She has made a fan out of me. The freezer part was particularly horrifying to me and I don't have claustrophobia! Actually reading about the private lives of the detectives assigned to the case would have been a story in itself, maybe that's what makes P. D. James books so good, there's a story upon a story upon a story?
I'll tell you a secret, I can read Steven King on a dark stormy night, doesn't bother me. I can WATCH a scary movie alone if I want to see it and I am fine. I read a true crime book or a murder whodunit and I have nightmares? I guess the first two genres go into the file in my brain labeled fairy tale and the other two go into .....maybe this could happen..., I don't know but this didn't give me nightmares but it could have happened. I didn't see the final twist @ the end coming, the REAL motive but it does make me glad I haven't written an expose`. Saying I didn't have nightmares doesn't mean the whole thing wasn't plausible though.
If you like whodunit's or if you like England it's hard to put down and you find all sorts of reasons for continuing to read. The Private Patient is worth the read.
Once again I got mine @ the library, you can too or buy it @ amazon.com here.